upset the applecart

Songs on repeat keep me in muddy thought. I act dumb to be smart, even when I know exactly whats being talked. Sometimes I need some help to be explained, but I will not ask, I will wait for the next. I send you letters, more then 10 times a day, for the one I should be writing to gets lost in the mail. Coincidences talk. Talking is fun, I like it. Shower time, best time. Hot water, no lights and only music. Playing as loud as you can hear it. Put your head under the water and let it flow hard down your face to cover your ears and listen only then. I don't know what you want, what you desire, what you need, what you have had, what your saying. Fucking clues, tell me this. I'm not playing a game of who-killed-who-with-the-candlestick.

I know, I know, I know.

"You have so many" says best-friend.

"I know I do" says I.

Will I ever learn? I've been broken before into a million pieces before, I can assure you that, but i have restructured it back and mixed a few pieces around, but it's stronger now and half made of glass. Don't tell me past meals, don't talk about that.

Banging my head against a wall, what else do you want.