Never Falling Down

I'm not in a particular mood for writing but maybe it will take a few kilos off my back, so here we go...

My eyes turn a emerald green when salty lakes fall on the dry land on my face. Words hurt more then actions, we've been taught this since we were young but unlike nursery rhymes, we can't sing to it. Birds sing, but do they really know the lyrics? Or are they just hoping that someone will see the hurtful cries behind their sweet, soft songs? I feed wolves to keep them quiet but they never keep their jaws sealed. This happens continuously, in everyone. You try to keep your head low so you can't capture a bullet, but when you get to inquisitive and curious you'll take a peek at the on coming enemy every now and again. This may seem like all fun and games but the enemies are playing one to. You take your last peek at the oncoming traffic and before you know it you'll be on the ground with a bullet hole in the middle of your forehead and before you can think "how did that get there?" your already on a one way train to hell.

I'll strum my pain with his fingers. With his sister watching I could get too close although I don't slow down for a second when I should take a minute to stop. I won't stop because I don't want to. When I sit and think, I think about thinking. I think about my brain being in my head and how squishy and slimy it would be with every beat of my heart and how it was tap along to the beat. Feeling the vibrations through my head and the blood bubbling. You can't trust anyone anymore, you really can't. You have those that hold your hair back when your stomach lining is coming out of your mouth, but are they your best friends? Just because they hold your hair for your doesn't mean they'll hold your hand. I feel as though I know a few of true friends and yes I read your diction and it means more then I can describe, thank you. Life needs to move forward and I take every day at a time. There is a positives and negitives about that yeah, but thats how I am.

I have met a new friend, she's pretty dope. Meeting new friends is a head start to something fun and happy like being a young girl realising that her feet are too big to fit into her shoes.I have read dictions and they suddenly became my addiction, but thats just another lying fairytale. I'm sure Cinderella took a line at the ball and Jasmine was a slut in the slums, thats why she snuck out at night. The animal within is breathing fire and I'm covering my mouth so none of it cascades out from my lips. I noticed that I have too many frown lines in the mirror. This morning was such a lovely morning. I woke up to the start of a new day, my bare body, nothing covering or slumping over my diminishing body, took the first suns rays when I pulled myself out of bed. The chilled air hit my arms and back and I felt a sense on peace. I trudged to the fridge to find the pizza I made the night previous. I pulled out my cigarettes hidden in a safe, tight draw, took a box of matches and placed them near the coffee machine where I made a coffee, not too hot and not too warm. Once I collected all my ingredients to a peaceful morning, I walked outside and placed my sitting naked body in the sun, but not on my face. I placed the stick into my mouth and lit the match. Sucking in my first inhale, the crackling sound was so clear. The smoke creeped out through my lips. Listening to my favourite brother and sister play their songs, I felt at home.

There isn't anything about my family in this passage, just the good and bad things in life.